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Anxiety about flying is common during the best of times: Research suggests up to 40% of people worldwide have some degree of aerophobia. Add a string of recent plane crashes and other horrifying incidents to the mix, and feeling jittery about boarding a plane seems perfectly reasonable.
“I’m hearing about it a lot from patients, and we talk about it within the psychiatry department, too,” says Dr. Nathan Carroll, chief resident of psychiatry at Jersey Shore University Medical Center, who’s scheduled to take a flight in two weeks. “People are like, ‘Ehhh, maybe I’ll drive instead.’”
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Such anxiety is natural—but, he stresses, shouldn’t overshadow the fact that flying is still safe in the U.S. “Despite it being in the news so frequently, we know it’s really safe,” he says. “There are thousands and thousands of flights every day that don’t crash. If we compare it to cars, it’s still way safer.” According to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), about 45,000 commercial and private flights take off each day in the U.S., carrying 2.9 million passengers, and the odds of dying in an air disaster are astronomically small: about 1 in 13.7 million. (That’s compared to 1 in 95 odds of dying in a car accident.)
Here’s what to do if you’re anxious about flying right now.
Accept your anxiety
Martin Seif, a psychologist who co-founded the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, has treated thousands of people with aerophobia. He says the recent aviation disasters haven’t impacted his clients as much as you might think: They’re already so anxious about flying that many avoid it altogether, so the news events are almost irrelevant to them. The most profound impact, he says, has been on reluctant flyers who have traditionally still managed to board the plane, though they don’t relish the experience. “What’s happened is that the normally nervous people who go on airplanes—who don’t like thinking about it too much but say, ‘OK, I have to get there’—are having an uptick in their concerns and fear of flying,” Seif says. “Specifically, they’re having an uptick in anticipatory anxiety,” or excessive worry or fear about a future event.
Read More: 8 Symptoms Doctors Often Dismiss As Anxiety
If you have a flight booked and are feeling anxious about it, Seif recommends telling yourself: “I’m committed to going on this flight. I’m going no matter what.” That helps tamp down anticipatory anxiety, he says, because it reduces the amount of debating you’ll do with yourself about whether you should still go or not. “The first thing I tell people is to expect anxiety, accept it, and allow it,” he says. “Anxiety is very, very strange. The more you fight it, the greater it gets.” Instead of obsessing about trying to calm down—and giving your anxiety more oxygen—simply stand by your decision to fly and “learn to let the time pass,” he says.
Focus on the perks of air travel
If you’re nervous about flying, spend time thinking about the ways it enriches your life and allows you to meet your goals, says Madeline Marks, an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. She suggests asking yourself why you bought a plane ticket in the first place, and listing the ways that flying serves you.
“Flying might allow you to visit your loved ones, because one of your core values is your family, and spending time with friends celebrating milestones,” she says. “Maybe one of your big values is appreciating other cultures and food, so seeing the world is important to you.” Or, jetting across the country to attend a work-related conference might allow you to network and advance in your field.
Remind yourself that “airline travel has allowed us to be more globally connected,” Marks says, “and to connect more with these activities that give our life meaning.”
Cut off your news consumption
It might feel impossible to escape headlines about what caused American Eagle Flight 5342 to crash in Washington, D.C., or videos from inside the Delta plane that flipped on its roof during a landing in Toronto. But Carroll advises looking away from aviation-related news—including speculation about how firings of FAA staff could potentially impact safety. We don’t yet know how things will play out, he says, and worrying isn’t going to help ensure your flight goes smoothly. If possible, start tuning out the news at least two weeks before your flight. “It might sound like a long period of time for someone who really is a news junkie,” he says. “You don’t have to go cold turkey, but gradually decreasing the amount of news you consume will make you calmer in general.”
Start calming yourself down well before you get on the plane
Aim to be as relaxed as possible on your travel day—which might mean starting to get ready for your trip early, rather than jamming all your errands, chores, and packing into the day before you leave. If the airport isn’t close to home, it can even be helpful to book a hotel nearby, Carroll says, so you don’t have the added stress of a long drive.
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Throughout your travels, practice progressive muscle relaxation or deep-breathing exercises, which can, for example, be helpful as you wait in the security line. Once you’re on the plane, you could even put the dreaded barf bag into use: Breathing into a paper bag can help curb anxiety attacks, allowing people to resume normal breathing patterns. “Your neighbors might get a little nervous,” Carroll says. “But it actually works.”
Take comfort in your past flying experiences
Anxious flyers can think themselves out of their fear, Carroll says. The key is identifying and challenging negative thought patterns, instead reframing them so they’re more realistic and productive.
You might tell yourself, for example, that you’ve gone on dozens of flights before, and every single one has landed safely. Or you could remind yourself that the pilots in the cockpit have spent hundreds of hours training for this very flight. “You’re using the rational and logical part of your brain to confront the emotion-driven limbic part of your brain,” he says. “It’s very effective.”
Avoid triggers
Avoid anything that might exacerbate your anxiety on flight day. That includes caffeine, alcohol, and illicit drugs, says Dr. Lokesh Shahani, a psychiatrist with UTHealth Houston. “We know that caffeine makes people anxious, so avoiding coffee the morning of flying is an important thing you could do,” he says. Similarly, while you might be inclined to order an in-flight cocktail to dull your nerves, opt for a soda or juice instead: “Alcohol could actually worsen your anxiety,” he says.
Read More: How to Relax and Unwind Without Drinking Alcohol
Consider medication
If you’re especially anxious about flying, talk to your primary care doctor about whether medication might be helpful. Occasionally taking an anti-anxiety medication like diazepam or alprazolam can be safe and effective, Shahani says. “They prevent your mind from becoming anxious,” he says, allowing for a much calmer travel experience.
Adopt a mantra
Research suggests that repeating a mantra to yourself, either silently or out loud, can lower stress and lead to a deeper sense of relaxation. A few of Carroll’s favorites: “I feel confident we’re going to land safely. I feel confident in the pilot. I’m excited for my next destination.”
“Say it with confidence, and repeat it over and over again,” he advises. “It sounds silly, but it works.”
Find ways to focus on the present
When you’re airborne and feel anxiety creeping in, focus on bringing yourself back to the present moment. That’s more helpful than dwelling over future or past events, Seif says. Of course, it’s easier said than done, he acknowledges. That’s why he sometimes advises people to engage in an exercise like counting everyone around them on the plane. “Count all the men in the plane, all the women in the plane, all the men over 30, and all the women over 30,” he says. Your anxious thoughts will soon be relegated to the back of your mind—and before you know it, you’ll be safe on the ground.
Embrace support from travel companions
If you’re traveling with a loved one, tap into the support they can offer. That might mean holding hands or talking through memories of previous safe trips. “If you’re a spiritual or religious person, sometimes having that be a part of your flying experience helps out,” Shahani says.
If you’re not an anxious flyer, but you’re traveling with someone who is, prepare in advance: Download cute or funny videos, and if you notice your loved one looks stressed out, try to lighten the mood. “Focus on making them comfortable,” Carroll says. “When you’re dealing with a phobia, you’re not going to out-logic it—it’s not like you can give somebody 25 reasons why they’re going to be safe on the flight, and they’re going to be like, ‘Alright, you’ve convinced me.’ Bring an extra pair of headphones, bring a couple good snacks, and distract them as much as possible.”
